That Nine Year Itch

Originally, I was going to just do a status, but I thought, what the hell?  I don't get to my blog often enough, so I'll just put 'er there.  So, here I am.  

It's been nine years today.  Nine years ago my whole world was shot down; changed for ever and ever and ever...

Mostly, I miss his calm presence; his reassurance.  Him.  The security he provided in my life.  I feel, at times, lost.  My past is gone.  My parent's have gone.  Every year I think that I can't believe it's been this many years since I've seen his face, or hugged his round belly, or cried to him (hyperventilated).  He always had the paper bags handy.  Maybe David should get some paper bags.  God, I miss him so; to the very depths of my soul--the innermost part of my heart.  I could never convey into words or text how badly I want him here with me.  I just do.  We are selfish humans.  Don't say to me that I'll see him again one day, those words don't help me right now; they bring me no comfort.

He told me to write.  Write something, somewhere at some point and time --I don't care where, just do it.  So, I do.  Mostly about him.  If he only knew that.  My paper thoughts are almost always of him.  

K-